I can blame things like my mood, and being cranky to others on the same sort of things, but ultimately, blame doesn't accomplish anything and doesn't make me any happier.
Many of these bad habits and things I want to change were even important enough to make it onto my 30 before 30 list, because I really did want this year to be one where I changed things, like getting enough sleep, having regular time for crafting, having a tidy and organized living space, stepping away from TV in favour of other activities and limiting the frequency of me taking out my temper and tiredness on the boy and the pup.
It's not that I haven't been trying, but the stresses of the past year made everything sort of fold into itself for me. There was only school work to do, and bills to figure out how to pay, and constant stress and not being sure if anything in my life was making me happy and having little time to connect with anyone, including Zen, as we were both caught up in school and just trying to get by.
But let's face it, I'm not perfect, and I'll never be able to accomplish everything I want to 100 percent of the time, and being unhappy that I haven't isn't helping anyone, especially myself. My apartment will never be totally clean all the time, and sometimes I'll be cranky or overtired and the dog is probably going to pull while we're walking, and I probably won't accomplish everything I set out to do on my 30 before 30 list before I actually turn 30. Perhaps some of that is that I set my expectations too high, and perhaps some of it is due to looking at things from too big of a picture. Or perhaps as the quote above points out, my expectations are just too high and unrealistic and need a bit of an adjustment.
So I will adjust.
I will do what I can.
I will let it go.
I will prioritize.
I will make room for what's important.
I will let things happen and not try to force them to my own timeline.
I will share what's on my mind.
I will take pride in what I have accomplished.
I will eliminate what's not necessary for my happiness.
I will take pleasure in the little things.
I will breathe.